


What Can Make Me Feel This Way?

by milehighziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Engagement, Kid Fic, M/M, Weddings, just fluff ok i needed it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 19:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13488450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milehighziam/pseuds/milehighziam
Summary: If anyone had asked Zayn the morning Liam had proposed what he planned to do in the future, the answer would be simple. Get back into music, maybe continue his literature studies, see parts of the world he never had the pleasure to see.But now, about 14 years later, Zayn could proudly say that this is his future.Or, Zayn reminisces on his engagement to Liam, their wedding, and the births of their children.





	What Can Make Me Feel This Way?

**Author's Note:**

> So! This is probably shit since I havent even gone through to edit it. Work has been slow and this was entirely written on my notes app on my computer within a span of 2 very slow work days lol (god bless iCloud for letting me access this at home lmao).
> 
> It's been a while since I've written anything, really, but these two idiots have been on my mind for a long time especially after [ this post ](http://zaynasf.tumblr.com/post/170020464286/new-coat-of-paintive-got-sunshine-on-a-cloudy) came along and got my mind running.
> 
> Also lets pretend I know all about weddings and kids and all of that for the sake of the fic lol.

**_I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day_ **

 

Zayn’s eyes flutter open slowly, the soft light peering through the curtains in his bedroom. He looks to his left, and the space where Liam had occupied was empty and cold.

Laying his head back, Zayn lifted his hand up in the air, admiring the black band donned with five diamonds sitting on his ring finger. He couldn’t believe it–Well, he could. It’d been brought up often. The idea of marriage and growing old together creeped into their conversations on the daily for months before. Zayn had known he wanted to marry Liam, but there was always a fear of Liam changing his mind. Not that he would, but the fear of two unsuccessful engagements loomed over Zayn’s head.

Until-

___

 

**_When its cold outside, I’ve got the month of may._ **

  

They’d been out with the guys. There was some sort of party happening that they had all been invited to. Zayn was reluctant, surely, but Liam had talked him into going.

 

“When was the last time you saw Louis, babe? C’mon, it’ll be fun. And if you wanna come home early, we can.”

 

“ _Leeyum_ , I’m not gonna ask you to leave the party because of me,” he laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “But fine, I’ll go.” Liam grinned, smoothing his hands over Zayn’s shirt. “I’d do anything for you, babe. Now, get your coat, the car’s here.”

 

 

They’d been at the party for a couple of hours. It was some sort of benefit or charity event, he wasn’t really sure, but he was enjoying it. They were at some grand estate, large enough to be its own town. The home itself was massive, with at least 20 bedrooms, a large foyer with marble floors and columns, and its own ballroom. Zayn had marveled at it, but found it hard to imagine building a family in a home like this. The party was held in the ballroom, with socialites mingling and bragging about their accomplishments while sipping expensive wines that probably were disgusting.

 

“Mate, liven up a little bit, yeah? Have a chat with someone, make connections,” Harry had nudged him as he watched Liam chatting to a group of men who all had thrown their heads back in laughter. He watched as Liam grinned, and glanced over at him with a loving smile.

 

“Mmm, I think I’m good man,” Zayn laughed, taking a glass of wine from a tray.

 

Harry eyed him carefully, humming in response, and glanced over to Liam. “So, when’s the wedding?”

 

Zayn laughed, shaking his head. “Oh shut it.”

 

“M’serious, mate. I thought you two would be off on some island having your honeymoon by now or with babies or–“ 

 

“Harry, we’re not even engaged yet,” he cut him off with a soft grin, his eyes turning to Liam as he continued. “M’happy with how it is right now, yeah? If it happens, it happens. I love’im, obviously. But right now, I’m happy.”

 

“Well, when you get engaged, I better be your best man.”

“I think we can arrange that. Jus’ don’t tell Lou, yeah?” 

 

He then noticed Liam was walking toward them, who slid an arm around Zayn’s waist. “Harry, would you mind if I stole my boyfriend from you for a bit?” 

“He’s all yours,” Harry grinned in response, moving to a group of young ladies to chat.

 

“Hey,” Liam pressed a quick kiss to Zayn’s lips. “I wanna show you something.” Taking his hand, Liam led them down a trailto a labyrinth-style garden, with tall rose bushes lining the walkway. The night was cool, and as they walked further into the garden, the voices of the party seemed further away.

 

“So, where are you taking me,” Zayn asked, leaning toward his boyfriend for warmth.

 

“Just thought you’d like this. I saw it online when I was looking at the venue. Apparently some royals lived here a couple years ago before it was donated to some art conservation group, and the princess or whatever loved to paint out here.”

 

At the center of the garden was a dimly lit Gazebo with vines and fairy lights engulfing it. Zayn was in awe. In awe of the gazebo, sure, but mostly in awe of Liam.

 

Liam. A man who could sit and smile and it would make Zayn fall for him just a little harder every single day.

 

“Li-“ His voice was soft, and he couldn’t help but turn to Liam and wrap his arms around Liam’s shoulders, his fingers grazing the back of Liam’s neck gently as his lips pressed to Liam’s softly. “It’s beautiful.”

 

“Mmm, you are.” Liam teased, and began to guide a blushing Zayn up the steps of the Gazebo, hand in hand. Liam placed his phone on the railing of the Gazebo, placing some music on shuffle which Zayn recognized as some of his favorite songs, and turned to him, offering a hand.

 

It was cheesy and romantic, and Zayn could melt at any moment. They’d strayed away from an upscale party to slow dance in a rose garden gazebo wrapped in lights, just the two of them. 

 

“You’re too much, you know that?”

 

“I’ve been told I’m a bit of a romantic. I wouldn’t say its too much, though.”

 

Zayn laughed, burying his head in Liam’s chest. “I love you so much, Li,you know _that_ , right?”

 

“I love you too, so, _so_ much, Zee.” Liam placed a kiss to the top of Zayn’s head, and held him tight. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. And I hope I never have to learn what it’d be like without you.”

 

Suddenly, Liam stopped swaying, his hand tilting Zayn’s chin up to hold his eyes, then slipping to cup his cheek.

 

Zayn's chest filled with an overwhelming sensation of love, and all he could thing was _he's breathtaking_. Zayn was quiet as Liam continued speaking.

 

“I know it took us some time to finally realize what this was, but I don’t regret any of it. It’s our story, you know? But, I’ve been thinking-“

 

Zayn could’t breathe. Was it happening? Was Liam really–

 

“Our story doesn’t just hold where we are now. I’ve loved you since the day we were sat at that McDonalds, strangers and best friends all at once. I’ve loved you since we shared a bunk in the X-Factor. I’ve loved you since you kissed me for the first time when we were 17. I’ve loved through everything hard, through us being stupid and thinking we found love somewhere else. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. And I can’t live without you.

“I never want to know what my life would be without you by my side. And I want you by my side through everything–even when our kids put us in old people homes. I know we talked about this, and you weren’t ready but Zayn–“

 

As Liam knelt before him, Zayn could feel tears streaking down his cheeks. He could see a black, velvet box in Liam’s hands, opening slowly to reveal a black band.

 

“– I love you. You’re the love of my life. You’re my soulmate, my other half. And I would be honored if you would be my husband someday. So, Zayn Javaad Malik will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

 

Zayn, with a stupid grin, nodding, cupped Liam’s face in his hands and kissed him slowly and passionately. “Of course, you idiot. Of course I’ll marry you,” He mumbled against his lips, wrapping his arms around Liam.

In that moment, he felt like he’d never love Liam more in his life.

 

Until-

 

___

 

**_I’ve got so much honey the bees envy me._ **

 

About eight months after they’d gotten engaged, Zayn found himself dressed in a fancy dress shirt, and slacks that hugged his hips. It was the night before the wedding, and they were preparing for the rehearsal dinner. Harry was fussing over Zayn’s clothes for the past hour, as Louis sat back, on his phone. Niall had been helping Liam get ready in the room beside his.

 

“Honestly, I don’t know what the big deal is about the rehearsal dinner, like, I don’t get why you guys won’t let Liam and I get ready on our own.” Zayn laughed as he combed through his hair.

“Because we’d never get you both at the dinner on time,” Louis snickered. “Harry, you should get to the restaurant and set up. I’ll finish helping Zayn here.”

 

In a minute, Harry had left the room.

 

“You know, I’m still bitter you chose him as your best man.”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes with a grin. “I promised him before Liam proposed, I couldn’t take it back.”

 

“Sure you could have, its Harry. He would have understood. I'm your best mate, yeah? Even after everything, we'd always be best mates.”

 

Louis and Zayn stayed silent for a minute before Louis wrapped his arms around him.

 

“Can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow. I remember when you were head over heels for that kid in the X-Factor.”

 

Zayn shook his head with a chuckle, a light blush dusting over his cheeks.

 

“Seriously. I remember you being like Ohhh Liam’s so fit. _Ohhh_ Liam likes everything I like. _Ohhh_ Liam’s got a huge cock I wo-“

 

“ _Louis_. This is _exactly_ why you’re not my best man.”

 

 

Later that night, Liam and Zayn stood hand in hand behind a set of closed doors, the sound of Harry’s voice on the mic introducing them to the wedding party.

 

“This is a bit much, isn’t it?” Zayn asked with a nervous laugh. “Like, Its just our family and friends.”

 

“A bit,” Liam shrugged, his thumb running over Zayn’s knuckles. “But its all for you, babe.”

 

“- _so please help me welcome the husbands-to-be, Zayn and Liam!_ ”

 

As the doors to the dining hall had opened, Liam guiding Zayn to the middle of the floor where Harry had offered the microphone to the couple. He hadn’t had anything prepared, but Zayn’s hand reached out for the microphone before Liam. Anxiety creeped over Zayn as he looked over the tables of their friends and family watching them. He felt the squeeze of Liam’s hand around his, and he felt at ease.

 

“Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight. I know tomorrow is going to be a really really wonderful day, not only for us but for all of you as well. So thank you to everyone, for traveling from far places to be part of our day. It means to world to Liam and I both.”

 

In that moment, he was happy knowing the day had finally come; nervous, knowing that by this time tomorrow he’d be married to the love of his life; but mostly he was excited. Just as Liam had promised, their story didn’t stop that night in the rose garden.

 

And tomorrow, a new chapter would begin.

 

___

 

**_I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees_ **

 

The wedding was held on a beautiful May afternoon, the weather as perfect for an outdoor wedding as possible: not too hot, not too cold, and not a cloud in the sky. The ceremony had gone smoothly. Well, just as smooth as possible.

Zayn had stumbled over a tuft of grass on his way down the aisle, his mother and father holding him steady. With a blush of embarrassment, he looked up at Liam, who was waiting for him up front, with a loving smile, wiping at his eye.

 

Liam was crying, and Zayn would be lying if he said he didn’t feel his eyes well up at the sight.

 

And Zayn could barely hear anything that was going on. The world had gone silent, and all he could see was Liam. All he could thing was _It’ happening_. He was about to marry the love of his life. The one person who understood him better than anyone else in this world. His soulmate. The man he would grow old with.

 

“Do you, Zayn Malik, take Liam Payne to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

 

“I do.”

 

 

The reception was held at the same location the ceremony had been. After the guests had been cleared to a holding room, the setup began. Fairy lights were switched on overhead, and simple rose centerpieces were placed on each table. Amongst the set-up and family photos, Zayn and Liam had found a quiet moment to themselves.

 

“Hey husband,” Liam grinned, wrapping his arms tight around Zayn’s waist. “We’re finally married.”

 

Zayn smiled softly, his hands instinctively running over the hairs on the back of Liam’s neck, and pressed a gentle kiss to his _husbands_ lips. “Finally.”

 

The pair stayed in that embrace for a second until the shutter of a camera had gone off. Zayn buried his face into Liam’s neck, and Liam turned to rest his head on Zayn’s – a pose they would later have framed for their home.

 

“C’mon boys. Time for the party.”

 

 

The night had settled over the yard, the lights overhead creating the perfect ambiance. It’d been more than a couple of hours since Zayn and Liam were introduced as the Malik-Payne’s to their guests, since they had their first dance as husbands, since they cut the cake and Liam got frosting all over Zayn’s nose and lips.

 

And now, they were dancing again.

 

“You know I’m shit at this,” Zayn laughed, swaying back and forth to a slow song with Liam, just as they had that night in the rose garden.

 

“You know you’re not,” Liam squeezed his hip, with an eyebrow quirked. “So, you ready for tonight?”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes with a grin. “What about tonight?”

 

“Well, once we get to the suite, I’ve got a nice bath set up, amongst other plans.”

 

“And what are those other plans, hm?” Zayn’s hand slid slowly up Liam’s arm, while bringing his forehead to Liam’s, a smirk on his lips.

 

“Well you’ll just have to wait for that, Payne.”

 

“Actually, its _Malik-Payne_ , thank you.”

 

“Alright, _Payne_.”

 

Zayn laughed, and pressed his lips against Liam’s, thinking it could not get better than this.

 

At least until-

 

_____

 

**_I don't need no money, fortune, or fame. I've got all the riches baby one man can claim._ **

 

“She’s beautiful,” Liam whispered softly, a swaddled baby with rosy pink cheeks and chestnut hair nestled in his arms.

 

It’d been nearly two years since the wedding, and since they first seriously discussed kids.

 

They had discussed adoption and surrogacy, and came to terms with adoption. It would be harder, sure, but Zayn reasoned that they could bring a child into the world, or they could be parents to a child who needed it now. After a year and a half of paperwork, evaluations, and wondering if they were even going to hear back from the agency, they had received a phone call on one fateful afternoon, just two days shy of their anniversary.

“We have a young mother who wants to give her baby up for adoption, and after reviewing your file, she’d love to meet you.”

They set up a date, and a week later, Zayn and Liam had met the young lady who would eventually give them their first child.

 

Their healthy baby girl, Taylor Marie Malik-Payne, was born in August, nearly days before Liam’s birthday. And _goodness_ , Liam was right; she _was_ beautiful.

 

Zayn couldn’t believe this was real. They had a _daughter_. With his husband, who was probably the most amazing man in the world. They had a daughter who they would love and cherish, and most likely spoil rotten. 

The day they brought her home, Zayn spent nearly the entire night with Taylor in his arms. Liam, leaning against the doorframe of the nursery, snapped a quick photo of the two, uploading it to Instagram captioned _My World,_ ignoring the instant notifications from close family and friends following the post.

 

“How’s she doing?” He asked softly, making his way to sit beside Zayn. Zayn looked up at him with a smile as he rocked the baby gently in his arms. “She just ate, I think she’s just about ready for bed.”

 

Just as Zayn had spoken, Taylor stirred in his arms with a whine. Her golden eyes tuned on Liam. “But I think she wants her Daddy first.”

 

Taylor nestled into Liam’s arms, head against Liam’s chest. And Zayn was sure _this_ was it.

 

The love he felt in his heart ever since the day Liam proposed, the way Zayn felt at the wedding, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. What he felt when he looked at his _family_. 

 

 

When Taylor was three, they had decided to grow their family just a bit more.

 

This time, they discussed surrogacy. Their sperm, one of their sister’s eggs, and a surrogate. And they decided that they would go through with it, despite the odds of the procedure not being successful at all.

 

The young woman who had offered to be their surrogate was nothing but lovely during the process, and three months into the pregnancy, Zayn and Liam were thrilled to find out that in just six months, they would bring home _two_ babies.

 

Mason and Melissa were born on a cold February morning.

 

“Baba, why are we here?” Taylor asked as she looked up from a video shed been watching on Zayn’s phone.

 

Liam had been with doctors all morning. There had been a complication during the birth and they had to perform an emergency c-section.Hours later, the babies and the surrogate were fine.Liam’s parents were on their way up to pick up Taylor, since the babies would be staying overnight at the hospital, and Zayn had decided he wouldn't be going home without their babies.

 

“Well, you’re a big sister now, baby. Your brother and sister are here, we’ve justgotta make sure they’re ready for us to bring them home.”

 

The three year old hummed, putting the phone down in Zayn’s hand.“I don’t want to be a sister.Can we go home now?”

 

Zayn couldn’t help but laugh, and pull his daughter close to him. “Grandma and Grandpa are gonna take youhome, Tay.Are you sure you don’t wanna be a sister?”

 

Just as Zayn had asked, Liam approached them, picking Taylor up in his arms.She poutedin his arms.“Daddy, Idon’t wanna be a sister.”

 

Zayn gave hima sorry look as Liam pouted and turned to her.“Well why not?”

 

Taylor shrugged in response, her pout quivering, and tears forming in her eyes.

 

“Tellyouwhat.Let’s go meet your brother and sister. And after ** _,_** I’ll makesure Grandpa and Grandma buy you ice cream and let you stay up late, deal?”

 

Liam held up his pinky to their daughter, and withouta second to think, she linked hers with her father’s, sniffling and resting her head against his chest.

 

“I can’t believe she likes you more than me,” Zayn huffed from his seat.

 

“One of us has to bethefun dad,” he said with a wink. “Now come on, let’s go meet our babies.”

 

 

Both babies had Zayn’s hair and his skin color, there was no doubt about that, but the features of each child screamed Liam.

 

Liam held Melissa in his arms, rocking her close to his body while Zayn helped Taylor hold her baby brother, snapping a quick picture of her and Mason.

 

He had never felt _this_. All the love in the world, all of the feeling of accomplishment, all the pride could not compare to what he felt in that moment.

 

His family.

 

Liam and his three beautiful kids.

 

 _Nothing_ could ever compare to this.

___

 

**_I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day_ **

 

The morning of his 38th birthday, Zayn had woken up to an empty bed, he felt like he couldn’t believe his life staring at his ring. The ring he had sent in to add five diamonds into the band, one diamond for every member of his family. He thought back on it all– on how he’d been scared to get engaged to Liam; how he’d been nervous for the rehearsal dinner; the way Liam looked on their wedding night. He’d thought back to the births of their three children.

 

He couldn’t help but think, he had the best life possible.

 

With the smell of food wafting through the air Liam’s voice echoing through their home, belting out oldies, Zayn decided it was time to get out of bed.

 

Zayn shuffled his way on over to the kitchen, sitting at a stool at the breakfast bar. The kids were most likely asleep still as they hadn’t been in their seats or the living room just yet.

 

Liam didn’t notice him as he continued to cook. His hair messy from sleep, his shirtless back facing him as he swayed his hips and belted out the lyrics into a spatula.

 

 _“I guess you'd say, What can make me feel this way… My guy_ ”

 

Zayn grinned as Liam continued singing, and spun around, his eyes crinkling as he smiled right back at his husband.

 

“Baby, we were gonna get you breakfast in bed,” he hummed and made his way over to kiss him slowly.

 

“Ewwwww!”

 

Zayn couldn’t help but grin as Taylor and Melissa ran into the kitchen with Mason trailing just behind them.

 

“Baba! Daddy! No kissing!” Melissa squealed. Liam kissed Zayn’s cheek with a loud smack, causing the kids to squeal again.

 

“You were supposed to be in bed for breakfast,” Mason said, climbing up to Zayn’s lap. The girls were close behind, hugging him where he sat.

 

“Aw, babes, Ican go back to bed if you like,” he laughed,hiking Mason up his hip so he could stand up.The boy held Zayn close and cuddling into his chest.

 

“Okay kids. Baba ruined the surprise but ** _,_** just set the table for us.And we’ll givehim his presents there,” Liam smiled, plopping a pancake on a plate ** _._**

 

“Okay!”

 

The girls went to set the table and Mason reluctantly shuffled down to go help.

 

“They planned this all, ya know,” Liam hummed as he leaned on the counter beside Zayn. “They just enlisted me as the chef.”

 

Zayn turned to Liam, with a soft smile. “They should plan this more often, hey?”

 

“Breakfast and a show from our babies?”

 

“And a _show_?”

 

“Just wait and see.”

 

Liam continuedhumming to the music as he turned to bring the platesto the tablewhileZayn followed close behind, sitting at the seat that was designated for him, Mason climbing into his lap.

 

“So what’s for breakfast?” Zayn asked, pulling his son’s plate beside his own.

 

“Daddy made your favorite.Chocolate chip pancakes!” Melissa grinned as she took her seat beside her sister.

“And there’s eggs and hash browns as well,” Taylor stated in an almost matter-of-fact way.

 

“I got you orange juice,” Mason added, looking up at Zayn witha smile identical to Liam’s. “In a cup Daddyhelped me make you!”

 

Zayn took a look at the mugon his placemat.A white ceramic mug, covered in a stick figure family drawing, signed in scribbles.

 

“ _Mase_ , Ilove it,” he grinned and pressed a kiss to the boys head.

 

“You’re gonna like ourpresents too!” The girls started to climb out of their seats when Liam stopped them.

 

“After breakfast, girls.Then you can do your showtoo,” he said with a wink.

 

 

They’d moved to the family room after Zayn had opened the presents from the girls and Liam.

 

Taylor had painted on a ceramic pot, writingher name on it, and Liamhelped her plant something in it, but she wouldn’t say what.“It’s a surprise,” she’d say.

 

Melissa had decorated a plate to go with Masons mug, drawing herself and her Baba with hearts and flowers and a unicorn.

 

And Liam.God, he’ll kill Liam. A platinum Hublot watch, withthe back plate engraved with all of their initials nearly sent him to tears.

 

“We still have one more present!” The kids began to bring out toy instruments that Liam had encouraged they play about a year ago, but sat untouched for months after. After a countdown from Taylor, they began to play their instruments out of tune, and sing a song they had composed on the spot about how much they loved their Baba and Daddy.

 

 

If anyone had asked Zayn the morning Liam had proposed what he planned to do in the future, the answer would be simple. Get back into music, maybe continue his literature studies, see parts of the world he never had the pleasure to see.

 

But now, about 14 years later, Zayn could proudly say that this is his future.

 

Watching his kids grow, building this home with his other half, and learning that love has no limits a little bit more every day.

 

 _This_ is his present, his future, and his always.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! I know its kinda shit but i appreciate when others appreciate my work lol. 
> 
> Anyway, you can follow me on tumblr @zaynasf and thats pretty much it. Thanks again !


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